The History of Sex: Pompeii -- The Secret Cabinet of Obscenity -- (Chap. I, Pt. 4)

Embarrassed by the past, the kings of Naples did what came naturally: they locked away the more extreme evidence of rumpy-pumpy at Pompeii.

The 'Cabinet of Obscene Objects' in the museum of Naples was restricted to those 'of mature age and proven morality' who had to apply for a visitor's permit.

The 'Secret Cabinet' remained closed to the public until the cusp of the twenty-first century, when—in a sign of the times—it was permanently opened to the masses (excluding minors) in 2000 as a suite of tastefully decorated rooms.

For my own grand tour of sex history, I've returned to Pompeii to speak with the resident expert on erotica—and the so-called House of the Christian Inscription.

EROTICA EXPERT

When he's not out excavating, Dr. Antonio Varone works at what sounds like one of the most impressive addresses in the world of archeology: Via di Villa dei Misteri—Villa of Mysteries Way.

In reality, the archeologists' offices sit next to the tourists' entrance, in identikit blocks that look like trailers from World War Two.

Dr. Varone squeezes in behind the cramped desk in his office, taking a break from digging at the House of the Chaste Lovers, which tellingly gets its name from the fact that the painted amanti on its walls are just kissing; nothing more.

As you might expect of a man who wrote the book on Eroticism in Pompeii, Dr. Varone has expressive hands animated by a picaresque sense of humor.

And today he's got an audience.

Not only me and the peanut gallery—his two old-boy assistants sitting behind me—but also two female visitors, adding a certain frisson to all the sex talk: Lena the Latin South African, who's taking photographs and asking impertinent questions (wondering aloud of the statues in Naples: 'Where are all their penises?') and my interpreter, Angela, an Italian-American who's lived most of her life in Naples and dates from around the same era as the Pompeianist himself.

In his book, Dr. Varone argues that much of the ancient artwork we view as erotic probably wasn't arousing for the Romans.

That's mainly because very few acts were off limits for them (though they did have hang-ups about sex with the lights on or their clothes off and didn't like inviting fellators to dinner: not least because the Romans greeted each other with a kiss on the lips).