It's taken me a while (maybe I'm not so clever after all), but I finally realize: the Marquis' Tea is basically a sex club with spanking—lots of spanking.
I've been driven out of the writer's room by a couple of old folks who look better suited to sunshine and grandchild-dandling than black leather and shagging in public.
Maybe they're the last big bang of the Baby Boomers, the generation that turned youthfulness into a religion.
As I left, gramps was spasming against granny—Forever young!!!!!—while a younger voyeur with bulgy eyes played with himself in his leotard.
Over in the bedroom, someone has taken up the fellatee's offer and is taking his girlfriend from the rear while remaining fully clothed himself.
He's pounding her so hard she's grunting 'Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!' with each impact: it's a wonder the guy on the bed isn't crying 'Teeth! Teeth! Teeth!'
I'm standing right next to the paunchy love machine, but no matter how close I get (close enough to know he's wearing a condom), it's decidedly unsexy.
Mind you, I've never been one for spectator sports.
He and the girl are giving it their porn-star best, with him going 'Unh! Unh!' and her going 'Ooh! Ooh!'—except it comes out as Mlmooh! Mlmooh! because she's moaning with her mouth full.
Maybe it would help if I faked interest, too: Go on, my son! Allez! ALLEZ! ALLEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZ!
But I don't want to throw them off their stride, if only for the sake of the guy with his bits in the sharp end.
And I doubt the Mexican wave would go down well here, either.
The Frenchman at the rear finishes with a rather subdued groan, orgasming in public with the old Unh!-Unh!-UNNNNNNHHHHHHHHH! combination—a classic, that; the Chanel No. 5 of coition—and the black girl collapses with a whimper, pawing at her master's chest, while the other white guy winkles the rubber off his winkie.
Some time later, the girl and her master emerge from the den.
She's surprisingly young and pretty; not so surprisingly, she's a little unsteady on her feet.
'So how did that turn out?' Steve asks me down in the bar.
'Put it this way—it's a miracle she can walk.'
He leans across Fanny's fanny to speak with me, man to man.
'Did you—did you see if she took it up the ass?'
I stare at him dumbstruck. 'I—I honestly couldn't say.'
So much for me and my eye for detail.
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